Socially awkward office workers return to work after New Year holidaysNewsBiscuit

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shy bloke

The first few days of February has seen important administration departments across the UK returning to near full strength as socially anxious office staff go back to work following the New Year break. Most use their entire annual leave in January to avoid the anxiety-ridden torture of the Happy New Year greetings in early January.

‘I just can’t face it,’ said Kevin, a highly disciplined purchase ledger specialist who has worked his way up to assistant manager with a reasonably successful educational furniture manufacturer in the West Midlands. ‘The handshakes, the faux-cheery Happy New Year wishes. The cringing small talk about whether you had a nice Christmas. That big twat Tony in sales with his confident, alpha-male firm grip.’

‘Then there’s the female etiquette. I just don’t know whether to go in for a peck on the cheek or not. Last year I completely fucked it up and was responsible for a trending #metoo across the whole of Bromsgrove.’

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2020 by fletcher

Tagged: greetings, holiday, introvert, New Year, office, satire, socially awkward, spoof news

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